So today, with all the horrors that built up inside of me, I shot my self perception video art project. It wasn’t actually as bad as I thought it would be. I had some help from my girlfriend as she is the only person I really felt comfortable being in the nude with. I managed to get a white backdrop, which was great! After I set up the lighting so I would have little or no shadowing I made a start. I first shot the naked bit as I really wanted to just get that out of the way. I changed something of value due to funding, this was just a test shoot to see if it would work so I wasn’t really all that bothered. Due to funding being short, I cut out the part where I would eat something. Instead, I just sat there and attempted to look a little depressed. I framed up the shot, pressed record and sat down. I sat there for about three minutes. After I got that bit out of the way, I started to feel a little more comfortable. My girlfriend (who is also a film student) suggested that I id some close ups of my body and cut them into the main scene. I wasn’t entirely sure about it, but I had the studio for the afternoon and I didn’t really see any harm in it. She shot some scenes of my body and then we moved on. I got dressed and stood back in front of the camera. This scene was quite difficult, I don’t really think I’m cut out for acting. Which is ironic because I wasn’t acting. I didn’t form a script because this is really how I feel about myself, and I wanted it to seem real to the audience. I shouted at myself, told myself what I thought and I actually thought it was quite therapeutic. It felt good to vent my anger and be able to direct it towards myself. I took the footage to edit and this is what I got.